rain.

a storm is rolling in right outside my window, but i like where i'm at right here: protected from its harsh winds & torrents of rain. there's nothing more exhausting than getting caught in the middle of a downpour. you keep running & running for somewhere, ANYWHERE that will provide some shelter. a place that will let you breathe in a peace that reassures your entire being.

of course, this storm could be physical or relational or emotional. i've had my fair share of all of them this past week. my legs are tired.

as i sat with some relatives at my grandparent's 65th anniversary party, we discussed how life presents us with polar opposites, stark differences in just about every daily event. you're either working 50 hours a week or none at all. if you're having a good day, it's a really good day. but on the other hand, if it's bad...it's really bad.

life is full of extremes. heaven or hell. happy or sad. rich, poor. overworked, underworked. where is the balance? can one extreme exist without the other?

wow. WOW. okay, too deep right now. i'm freaking myself out over here. i just finished memory keeper's daughter yesterday, and it was this terribly sad story about a father whose wife gave birth to twins: a boy & a girl. the girl, he saw, had down syndrome. in an effort to spare his family from her early death (this was the 1960s) or other negative effects, he sent her away to an institution with a nurse and told his wife the baby girl died. the nurse decided to keep the baby instead. this whole story was based around that father's one decision. complete domino effect. because of that single decision, every other moment of his life (and his family's) was sculpted by consequences. i do recommend the book only because of this sweet little girl who had down syndrome and the effect she had on people. so, yes, complex stuff.

something light, something light...yes. i gardened today for about 3 hours while adam finished my flower trough ~ yes, its finished! its finished! it is beautiful. it's adam's first project from complete scrap...as in he bought the wood, screws, glue, clamps, what-have-you. drilled -- lots. and voila, a beautiful cedar box for my flowers. he is very proud, and he should be. :) i am planting all my flowers tomorrow after the sweet summer yellow paint dries. pictures will follow quite soon.

i'm sure there's lots more that i can share, but my bed is calling for me. i've spoken so many words in the past 24 hours ~ sweet words, monotonous words, words dipped with bitterness, and other words stinging with anger.

if there's anything that God's been showing me, its that new beginnings are sunbeams. they shine through the clouds, strike mountains and reach to the valleys. and even if they're found amidst a downpour, they create rainbows. and rainbows shout God's promises of faithfulness. of grace.