full, orange moon.

the moon is orange tonight. orange & full. and i too am full. summer is in full bloom...as are my flowers. dinners consist of fresh romaine lettuce and succulent chicken and is topped off with homemade ice-cream sandwiches and fresh trail mix. and the weather. my lanta. it's either a thunderstorm that inspires awe (did you know that a lightning bolt is only the size of a quarter?) or summer sun that gives you a perfect golden tan.

to fill in a bit of background that's become just a fuzzy backdrop noise these past few months...as i gradually went from year to year in college, my living situation gradually became worse & worse. each year i remained optimistic, but man, college did me in. when senior year hit, my anxiety came back. and i wasn't ready for it. when i graduated, it wasn't any worse; but it much wasn't better either.

in an effort to relieve my anxious state, i've begun eating healthier and working out daily, taking more time for spiritual reflection and overall self-healing. and what's so ironic is that my roommate junior year was vegan, and she ate everything organic and worked out all the time. part of the reason we never really worked was because we never ate the same thing. we didn't even eat at the same time. and to be honest, i was critical of her lifestyle. and maybe she did it because of a poor body image or just because she wanted to, but i've realized that her diet will add years, healthy years, to her life. and after reading lots of articles and a few books, i've realized just how much your physical health is linked with your mental health.

now, i'm not becoming vegan, but i've switched to mainly organic food. and my diet includes lots of different proteins and foods with natural sugar and without refined flours/sugars & high fructose corn syrup. i looked at my yoplait yogurt the other day, and even that had high fructose corn syrup :: yikes! eating healthier, combined with running + yoga for 30 minutes a day combined with my vitamins...i am feeling gooooood tonight! :)

and then i threw ALL that knowledge out the window tonight when adam & i were sitting on the couch. we were just watching TV. it was still kind of light out, so i hopped off the couch, grabbed my wallet, and dragged him to the car for a quick trip to dairy queen for vanilla cones & onion rings; and these rings were just dripping in high fructose corn syrup. you know what? i savored every bite.

adam & i have been doing lots of spontaneous things lately. one of my favorite trips began like all good things do: when you least expect them. it had begun to rain on our way to the beach and we were arguing about something nonsensical that began with something i had complained about earlier that day. even as we sat in the car at the beach waiting for the last few sprinkles to stop, we argued. in the sand, i walked at least 10 strides ahead of him. it took listening to two highschoolers' silly water-logged argument that finally brought some smiles to our faces and giggles that couldn't be kept in any longer. we can never argue longer than a few hours, and once its over, its over. laughing, cuddling, silly jokes & eskimo kisses usually ensue. and that is us. arguing one minute & kissing the next.

we spent the evening reading on the sand and dipping our toes into warm lakeside water. we watched the sun sink below the clouds. he held me up in his arms and we twirled in front of the dwindling beach crowd. and after drinking our coffee & tea that we last-minute decided to make and put into travel mugs, we toted our sandy sheet, books, and empty mugs back to the car.

and so ends another summer night. there's much more to talk about: my new church, adam's involvement at said church, my unemployment, God's deliverance, my human flaws, but i guess that's going to have to be all since my eyelids are sagging and my typing speed is slowing dwindling below the 50s now.