jibber jabber.

during and after this eventful easter weekend, words have been heavy on my mind. adam & i were reading james last week, and in it, james talks...basically rocks my world with his style of writing...of the power of words.

with the tongue, we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. . .can both fresh water & salt water flow from the same spring? (v. 9, 11)

of course, the mouth can be used to give words of encouragement, chat with a friend, or sing praise. but the majority of people (i know i don't, at least) don't automatically speak positively...in fact, i have to remind myself, "choose joy. choose joy. choose -- JOY."

your mouth is a product of who are. for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. (matthew 12:45) let me tell you: last school year through the beginning of the summer (and even creeping back in every now & then this year to be honest), my heart was dark. and i hated who i had become.

i was swearing. i was negative. i was gossiping. its like i was searching for something to fill me and found an easy way out. because everyone gossips. and a lot of people swear & say terrible things. and its a lot easier to complain about situations than to find solutions for them. i had developed a perpetual negativity that riggled through every fiber of who i was. if it wasn't my roommate whom i would complain about, it would be my classes. if it wasn't classes, it would be work. if it wasn't work, it'd be the weather...or the fact i had no food...or the fact that i was bored. SUCH STUPID STUFF that i'm ashamed to say i even wasted my breath on.

and when its all written out, its easy for me to see that i was being lazy & complacent and was much too empty.

its taken adam (especially)and my parents (only 21 years) and their positive attitudes a long time to reach me; and its taken me reaching out to other believers and asking questions and reading about Him to finally turn it around. whatever comes out of my mouth reflects the state of my heart...and my heart is finally becoming brighter, cleaner, and more full. valleys & mountains. in life & in faith. i am so thankful to be on the mountain-top again, because this view is great (adam, if you crack the joke i know you're thinking, i am going to play dead-body).

the more i read about Jesus, the more questions i ask Him. i have no idea what i would've done if i lived during Bible times because His teachings are RADICAL (yes, i just said that word). who wants to love their enemies? and who wants to hear that we will be prosecuted for our faith? and who wants to give up old ways or friends or towns that bring us down (just read about all of this in a book about ruth; more on that later)? but who WOULDN'T want to hear about such amazing love? and an ever-constant forgiveness? and a heaven that is going to kick major booty (more on that from another book later)? i'm very blessed to work in a place where i have theologians always present to ask these questions to (i have a list!) because in order to get know people...and Christ...you have to ask questions.

for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. (matthew 12:45)

asking questions about Christ = Christ on the heart. and really, there isn't a thing more positive or beautiful than that.

~

in lighter news, ahem:

- i got jeans for $4 dollars and dress pants for $4 (mom, i'm calling tomorrow, don't worry!)

- i found the bright side in my latest "almost" roommate backing out on a lease.

- easter weekend = 3 different family celebrations = lots of candy.

- the flowers adam got me almost a week ago are still beautiful.

- 5 weeks 'til graduation!

- and most importantly, ESPECIALLY this past weekend, i have a Savior who is stronger than death who works in my life & continues to bless me!