everyone that i've talked to about wedding planning says that the guest list is the hardest part. feelings get hurt, and the bill grows larger, and all the while, i feel helpless and completely out-of-control. the whole selfish bride complex gets tossed out the window, and selflessness takes its place. all 250 of them. yes, the guests.
and working two jobs, staying connected with family, and maintaining a relationship with my fiance seem to make this whole "wedding planning" business fall to the end of the "to-do" list. i'd much rather be making money or holding my newborn nephew than making big decisions as to whether cut Aunt Susie (twice removed, yet still fictional) from the guest list.
and so my tummy's in knots, my heart's continually got butterflies, and the perfect dream wedding is no closer to getting done. in fact, it gets pushed farther and farther into the back of the cupboard (i have no idea what's up with these food metaphors-- the butterflies don't let me eat!). and feelings like these (anxiety and apathy) just beg the question: is being selfish with your wedding ever a good thing?
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