growth.

I expect a lot of growth in these next four years. I know that the things I have planned now will probably fall through, and I realize that God has an ultimate plan that will give me the best life possible if I only choose to follow Him. I am ecstatic to continue on my journey through Hope College; a journey that will not only transform me academically, but also personally, spiritually, and in my relationships with others. May I stay rooted in God and allow Him to change me and mold me to be the person that He wants me to be.

i wrote the above paragraph in November of 2006 as a conclusion to my first year seminar paper. and i must say, i want to use it as the conclusion to my senior seminar paper as well. the past four years have been something, all right.

i can see my entire college career in an instant ~ from freshman year to right this second. i am not disappointed. i thought i might be considering what a ride it has been. i mentioned many aspects, but i feel that personal and relational goals are central to spiritual goals. i remember the fire i had for God during freshman year that slowly dwindled during sophomore year that was just about extinguished junior year and finally hit an upswing during senior year. and as i look back on my spiritual journey, i can see various personal choices related to where i was at spiritually, and i can see different the people with whom I spent my time continually change because of my spiritually journey.

right now, at this moment, i am happy with who i am. i finally realized the importance of optimism in life. i understand that while Christ wants us to love and be in the world, He also gives us boundaries (not: swearing, getting drunk, gossiping, thinking on negative things, sex before marriage) that allow us to grow in Him, enriching our lives and to better His kingdom. iam fully and wholly comfortable in His provision: the fact that i don't have a job right now scares the dickens out of me, but i am completely positive that God will provide a job that will fit who i am or He will bring in some sort of income to pay for the things i need. and HE LOVES ME! i am so blessed to have the Creator LOVE me and continually extend his grace & mercy... and get me entirely through college: i can't even count the prayers, the journals, the verses, the tears ~ and here i am, graduating! :D :D

i am not afraid of standing for what i believe. and i'm so excited to begin a new season of my life just as i am. grounded in my Jesus and ready to grow...even more.

you can have all this world,

but give me Jesus.