monday.

of all things, i believe that finding that one song that describes how you feel at a certain moment can make your day. i don't have a song that describes how i feel at this moment (i could write one with some funky lyrics about wishing i could marry my pillow so i could be with it all the time, but i digress), but andrea & i did have a nice chat about that on the way to holland yesterday.

WHAT A WEEK. WHAT A WEEKEND.

i am so thankful that the sun is shining today. i firmly believe that God romances me in ways that make me love & admire Him more. whenever things aren't going the best, He knows i need sunshine to keep me going, and my lanta, it is beautiful. the whole ordeal really is: a God without boundaries or limitations loving me in specific ways that are evident to me and mean something to me.

my mom & grandma are the funniest ladies i know. even more so than my friends. they are both so laugh out loud funny. and an entire weekend with them? i can't imagine anything sweeter. i mean, who could imagine the kindest british lady chasing a german shepherd off her property and breaking a broomstick while doing so!?

i always thought i wanted to work with To Write Love on Her Arms. i always wanted to be able to take an active role in helping these people who ache without much empathy from others. and i think the biggest reason why i wanted to was because i myself have battled what so many of them have. i have emotionally ached, physically hurt, and been mentally exhausted..and no one understood. but as time has passed, i realized that i'm just not strong enough to help as actively in that way: and i don't believe i'm weak for admitting that. but i have known from experience that being around depression and such negativity makes me fall back into who i was. it's like making a previous alcoholic work as a bartender. it just isn't the smartest choice. so, i've chosen to help organizations through monetary ways, by providing specific input to people who are actively encountering these people, or by admitting that although this will be something we will continually face, it does not have to be negative. and maybe one day i will work more with it...one day.

and this whole realization about myself and who i need to be around and what i want to do led me to this realization: i would LOVE to be a foster mom for rescued animals and volunteer my gifts to helping organizations such as these. ha, i called my dad one day and had to leave him a message about all of this and how i completely changed part of my career goals: he didn't call back. ha. and i can tell that this is something i want because i've already actively pursued it. you know how you think you want to do something, and it sounds like a good idea, but you just never get around to it? yeah, me too. but, NOT SO with this. i've already e-mailed a few places inquiring about their euthanasia policies and volunteer opportunities, and all the apartments i'm checking out are pet-friendly. so while i live in the house i do (and cannot exercise these desires fully), i may be applying for a second job at petco! wouldn't it be nice to use the discount i would be on merchandise to help those babies!

i have no good line to end this blog. i was going to say a joke, but i could only think of the mario brother's joke, and that has to be said verbally to understood, so...